Wednesday, April 11, 2018

The KETO Diet. What All the Cool Kids are Doing

Do Keto, They said.

Keto is awesome, They said.

Keto is the new Adkins, They said.

You'll love Keto, They said.

For months, I replied with an easy, and polite, simple, no, thank you.

For months, I watched as They took pounds off. Inches melt away. And, I mean, melt off like the real butter They were consuming.

Fine. Fine. Fine. I've tried everything thing else under the sun (remember the potato diet?) why not Keto? I said.


So, on February 1st, 2018 (more on why I chose that date at the end of the post) I began Keto.

I Googled the Keto calculator and entered in all my junk. I was quickly informed of my daily totals. I used this one: https://www.ruled.me/keto-calculator/

25 grams net carbs
1600 total calories
123 grams fat
98 grams protein

Okay. Well, that sounds like a decent challenge, but... Hey, let's do this! Right? Okay, that wasn't supposed to be a question; more of a: I got this, fist pumping into the air, you go girl. I'll work on it.

So... I chucked my beloved bread, pasta, POTATOES, CAKE, sugary treats, pastries, ice cream, fried foods, chocolate, and whatever else I was consuming on a regular basis that was supposedly causing my flat tire syndrome.

Day One
Breakfast
I made egg whites (I dislike the yolk; this is a personal choice; Keto dieters are allowed the yolk) with 1 Cup chopped spinach in a T of REAL butter. It was good. Similar to my usual breakfast, except I used cooking spray before.

I switched my skim milk in my coffee (let's be clear here, if Keto said no coffee, this blog post would not exist. No coffee means no Keto) to almond milk. It too, was good. Truthfully, I now prefer the almond milk. But? How do you milk an almond? No, seriously. My youngest Clover and I would like the answer.

Snack #1
10 dry roasted/salted Almonds and string cheese. (I calculated I can have 28 almonds a day for 3 of my total net carbs. I broke mine up into 10, 10, 8.)

Lunch
Two chicken thighs with 1 T Horseradish mixed in and two sandwich sliced dill pickles, served inside a bed of green leaf lettuce. It was all right. I mean, I didn't die, and it tasted fine. It was no fried chicken strip sandwich, but... It was acceptable.

Snack #2
The next 10 almonds in my daily allotment. 1 Carbmaster (copyrighted name but I have no idea how to put the little c with a circle after it. This parenthesis should suffice) yogurt.

Dinner
Large pepperoni. Make a short cut into each of the four side (Quick question. Does a pepperoni circle have sides? Well, I think they do.) Fit each pepperoni into a cupcake tin (Look at me finding a new use for my cupcake tins I won't be making cupcakes in anymore.) Drop one teaspoon of pasta sauce (I used a traditional one because it had the lease amount of carbs) into the pepperoni. I added two sliced black olives, REAL shredded parmesan cheese, a pinch of finely chopped mushrooms, a pinch of REAL mozzarella cheese. I baked mine for thirteen minutes on 400 degrees. (Mostly because, I was too lazy to change the temp on the oven; it was already set at four hundred.) They came out perfect. I ate four.

After dinner, I decided I was so good on this new diet I didn't care about all the fat I was consuming. I mean, at first, when buying ingredients, I had a hard time choosing REAL things like butter, cream cheese, hard cheeses, cottage cheese, yogurt. I'd spent years training my brain to buy low-fat, low-cal. Here I was, creating all kinds of havoc for my mind. To say it was hard is an understatement.

For a late snack, I ate the remaining 8 almonds.


So, day one was a success. What about the following days? What made me decide to keep going without my beloved foods listed way above?

Well, week one I lost three pounds. I know it doesn't sound like much, but... I hadn't lost three pounds doing anything else, so... Why not keep going? Plus, the food was growing on me and I wasn't having any cravings.

Weeks two through six, I lost an additional sixteen pounds for a total of nineteen. Nineteen is where I currently sit, ten weeks in. I've exercised maybe twice in the entire ten weeks. Not because I don't want to, more of my back/shoulder/arm is jacked up and when I manage to get in the exercise, I can't walk/sit/stand for the next couple days. I've been in PT and graduated, so... Hopefully I can start exercising once again.

So... I suppose, I've hit a KETO PLATEAU, (I'm dubbing it so since I've now sat at the same weight loss for four straight weeks) I've gone back to the Keto calculator, entered in my new weight, it spit out some new numbers.

My new restrictions:
20 grams net carbs
120 grams fat
90 grams protein
1519 total calories

Not too much changed in fat, calories, and protein, but... The carbs dropped by five. This will be a challenge. Did you know a Guinness has 10 total carbs? I've had three while on Keto. The first, I saved my the carbs throughout the day for the end and my beloved Guinness. The second and third, on St. Paddy's day. I seriously ate 28 almonds, an extremely green salad, and two of my beloved stout beers. It was worth it.

In somewhat of a conclusion, I'm continuing even if I don't lose more weight, because... I feel better. Who knew carbs weighed a body down? And, I'm not talking about poundage. I mean, how carbs made me feel lethargic, tired, blue, down, sad, bored, less of myself...the list could go on and on with similar feelings. I feel better. More energetic. Fun. Ready to go. Not gonna lie, I still have some fatigue from my stupid thyroid issues, but... That's an entire different blog post.

Also, I found recipes on Pinterest for Fat Bombs. If you have no clue what they are, Google the words. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G I feel like I'm cheating, but Keto says I'm not. Yay me!

I guess that's it for now.

Adios Muchachas,
Mel

P.S. Why choose February 1st for a start date on things? Two reasons. 1) The month is only 28 days long. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit; I'm giving myself 28. I can do just about anything for 28 days, right? And, 2) On February 1st, 2017 I gave up soda pop. I'm still soda free, it must be the Feb. 1st deal, right?