Thyroid Crap

Man this Thyroid crap is just that. Crap. I know what you're thinking, and from my own words too. "C'mon Mel, suck it up buttercup."  And you're right, I should just suck it up, but all I ever want to do is sleep. Or lie in bed. Either one is fine with me right now. 

So, after just over 2 months on LevoThyroxine 100 mg, I'm still tired. Not really sure what I was thinking would happen on medication, but...  Oh, who am I kidding, I know exactly what I thought would happen and it goes something like this:

Take medicine, aka: Magic pill, and life goes back to how it was before my thyroid decided to crap out. Actually life is even better than before no thyroid life. (Not quite sure why that scenario would happen, but hey, I was being optimistic.) I was also picturing myself 100 pounds lighter. Not sure where that came from either. That's being overly optimistic! Lol. 

So... Tiredness, grouchy, I can't seem to hear anything anyone says to me anymore, my eyesight is terrible and I'm freaking cold all the time. Did you know it was 97 degrees today where I live and I had on jeans, a tee shirt and a hoodie! Seriously. 

I've changed my diet to add more iodine in. I'm taking the medication. I'm taking the vitamins. I'm drinking tons (and I really do mean tons) of water. I'm walking every day. What else can I do to get back to me? 

I'm frustrated to say the least but I don't return to the doctor until November, so... (Twiddling thumbs) what to do? What to do? Anybody in the same boat as me? Or even ocean? I'd like someone who has been where I am to let me know it's going to get better. 

I know there are way worse things out there in the big bad world. Like cancer, abortion, children dying, starvation, dirty drinking water; the list goes on and on and on, but this is the chapter I'm on right now in my life and God seriously knows how impatient I am. Seriously, He and I have had the 'I have zero patience' conversation several times.  I'm a work in progress. Obviously. 

I think I'll take up yoga... Lol, as if. I can just see myself attempting yoga and trying to be all quiet so I could meditate and all that stuff only to interrupt myself with random thoughts and all the crap that constantly runs through my brain. 

Yeah. Not going to happen in my lifetime. 

Anywho...

Adios Muchachas,

Mel

Dear Thyroid

Dear Thyroid,

I am writing you this letter to let you know how disappointed I am in you. You have failed me. I fully expected you to be there for me for the longevity of my life, and yet you are leaving me. This was not our aggrement.

Why? Was it something I did? That virus I had that one time? Was it the concussion? Hashimoto's disease? Either way, I just wish you could've hung around for the rest of my life to see how it goes.

Because you are leaving me, I now have to take medicine daily for the rest of said life. Bleck! I am not a fan of pills. I don't care how tiny. It is annoying to take medication every single day. You've left me with no choice but to be upset with you.

I'm not happy at all about the energy you have stolen from me. My children are the ones who are supposed to be syphoning the energy from me. They deserve it, not you.

And the dry skin, brittle nails, grey hair; or worse thinning hair! Of all the mean things to do to a women, why did you have to thin my hair? I miss my thick healthy mane. It surely wasn't a very nice thing to do.

I'm not sure where to begin with the feeling of the need for sleep 24/7. And then you throw insomnia at me. Why? Is it all just a cruel game you are playing with me?

If games are what you are playing, then I'm here to tell you that I'm a natural competitor. Yep, you heard me right, I'm going to fight you for my body. I know it's going to be rough and I understand that you and I are never going back to how it was before, but I'm still fighting to keep myself. Yes, I'm going to take the medicine the doctor prescribed, plus the vitamins, extra Iron, Iodine, thousands of gallons of water, the fish, fiber, nuts, fruits and vegetables and exercise as much as I can. I am going to do all that is recommended to help prolong the life of what amount I have left of you. You will not get all of me. I may give my body a little rest here and there at your insistence, but just know that I will fight you. I refuse to allow the depression you force on me. I will conquer the anxiety. I will continue to do mind building exercises to stay sharp and block out the brain-fog you are so persistant on me suffering from. Now that I know that you are being lazy and no longer doing your job, I will do my best to keep you from ruining my life. Because I have a husband and children that need me. Because I have parents and siblings that love me. Because I have friends that enjoy my company. Because I have a loving God who knows I have work to do here on this earth.

This is my pledge to you. Take THAT Thyroid. I dare you to come at me. Actually, I double dog dare you.



Sincerely,



Mel
The body that has housed you for thirty-eight years now. I think you could be a little more appreciative of that. Just saying.